Everyday I fall more and more in love with this guy. But I dear NOT tell him that. He seems like the type of guy that will run far, far, FAR away from someone who tells him that. But he is the type of guy that secretly really loves that. He is the type of guy that will NOT OPEN UP for fear of being venerable. He would rather bottle EVERYTHING up and have it eat away at him just so that he would not have to argue. But let me tell you if you shake the bottle too much it will pop. This is the guy that after almost nine months of being together I have finally dipped my toe into the water that is Jake. He has finally started to open up to me. And let me tell you that was one of the best night that we have ever had in my mind. It was 2:30 in the morning and I wanted him to come to bed with me but we all know Jake, I finally just gave up and went to sleep. At 4:30 he came to bed and woke me up, but instead of going back to sleep we stayed up until I had to get up and go to work at 7:45 talking. I was so happy that he was opening up to me that I didn't even care that I was going to die with out any sleep, I just didn't was to pass up the chance of getting to know him even better. He is such a great person under all of that shell. The guy, that after having shity after shity relationships finally can really make me smile. Not just a fake smile but also something that warms me up on the inside. Granted that we do fight, who doesn't that's what makes relationships work. But after ALL OF THE FIGHTING I still know that he does really love me with all his heart. I will never for get the day that I sat in bed crying because of the WORST fight that we had ever had and he came in the room, sat down next to me and told me, "Ashley its gotten to the point that no matter what happens I will love you." I have to say that, that was the most AMAZING thing anyone has ever said to me. Just thinking about that day and EVERYTHING that happened and EVERYTHING that we went through as a couple just kills me still.
That moment I thought that it was done, over, never again. But once again here we are. We got through it ALL. I think the whole time we kind of knew that we would. But we didn't know if either one of us was still willing to try. He told me one time that if we could make it through this (when he didn't have a job and we fought all the time) then we could make it through anything. I TRULY think that he was right. When we had our blow up, that was where it couldn’t have gotten ANY worse. That was our lowest of lows. But yet we made it through. I realized where I had gone wrong. I was being like his mother and not his girlfriend. And I am pretty sure that he didn’t sign up for another mother. [hahah that kind of rhymes] So know that I am being his GIRLFRIEND not his mother things are just getting better and better. I am starting to be truly happy and content with my life. :] its a GREAT FEELING.
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