taking it back OLD SCHOOL!

I know that i haven't been updating in a while so i will catch everyone up later....


ON A HIGHER NOTE.

JP and I went to her mother's work christmas party. And guess where it was?!? Castles and Coaster! yeah!

whoo, whata day

I just have to say that today was fun! Quite the change from yesterday, Jake and I got in to a big fight last night. And we both knew that is was going to happen because we’re pushing each other’s buttons. Long story short I told him to give me back the house key and he did by throwing it at me. Then about a hour later I texted him “Sorry for everything bugahboo” because we both were being dumb. As Katelyn and I are eating with Beaver, she is telling me to just leave him alone he needs to cool down. She is always right when it comes to dealing with Jake. And the about a hour after that he calls me for his house key. :] I came home later and GUESS who was here… Jake and his Oh so lovely friend Mason. (I hope you could just image cutting that sarcasm with a knife) But about a hour and a half later they left and then I fell asleep on the couch blogging. So when Jake got home at 2:30ish he found he and very sweetly carried me to bed. :]] that just mad everything all BETTER!! And they just continued to get better…

This is how today went:

I slept until one-ish but I didn’t get out of bed until about 2:30 and that the best when I don’t have to worry about anything and I get to just stay in bed. And to top it all off, I get to just snuggle with ^MY BUGAHBOO. :] But we had to get up some time. From there we decided that we were going to see a movie, went to get on “fandango” but something was wrong. THE _fucking INTERNET! Grrrrr…. So I spent about 2 hours on the phone with Qwest trying to get the Internet situation fixed. I guess that I have been paying like 20 dollars extra each month and had NO idea. So because of all this extra money I pretty much got a FREE month! YES! While I was yelling talking to them my Jakie poo made me waffles! And I was SO excited! AHHAHAH. And WHO makes you waffles in the morning?!?! HUH?!? Yeah that’s what I thought! Heheheh. So after the hot mess with Qwest everything was working again. By this time is was about four-ish and Jake had a GEARS scrimmage at five so he got on and I went in the bedroom to watch Law and Order (I am not old I just like lawish shows.) and to look for the movie we wanted to see. And blah blah blah comes time for the movie and I REALLY didn’t think that Jake was going to get of and come with me but I was wrong, he straight up told Ryan that he had to go and see a movie with me! That made me happy.

So he jumped in the shower while I was doing my hair and by the time I found the shirt that I was looking for he was done with the shower. Made sure that I looked all pretty for him and off we went. We went to see Eagle Eye and it was AWESOME! I liked it a lot and Jake said that is was good too. And to top the night off EVEN more… Jake and I went to a REAL restaurant for dinner. Like were we had to be seated and the whole shebang. We had a VERY good “date night” tonight. We talked about a lot and a just all around had a good night. So when he told me that he was going to hang out with Nick I did get mad because he had just spent the whole day with me. Got home and Katelyn wanted to run to the store and we did that. Got home and started to finish my blog that I tried to do last night. And as I am doing that Jakie being the cutie that he is comes in to see what I’m doing. Oh just how much love I have for this boy.

On size- By Adison Eager

So i spent probably about three hours talking to Adison tonight. And i just have to tell you it WAS HILARIOUS!

I will fill you all in about it later, its late. NIGHT

I have to be tough!

SPACE.

Space is something that you don’t really have when you live with someone. And that is something that jake and I don’t really have. Pretty much everyday unless I am at work or we are out I see him. And I mean don’t get me wrong, I love seeing him very much but EVERYDAY I have to pick something up after him. AND I have to come home to find him sitting in this old and falling apart chair playing his video games… He has done nothing ALL day but that.

**ie: FOR THE PAST 8 MONTHS HE HAS NOT HAD A JOB**

You would think that he would have SOME kind of drive wanting to do something. But this is my fault because i enable him to do that. I give him everything that he wants. A HOUSE WITH NO RULES, FOOD, INTERNET and i get him anything he pretty much wants.

I HAVE TO STOP IT SO HE WILL GROW UP!!!

SO... because he needs to grow up and we need some space I got my own place.

Eeekkk..
My own place, all for me!

This is so i wont have to clean up after anyone but me, cook for anyone but me, wash only my clothes...

But because i am a good person i am not going to just KICK him out... He will be able to stay with me until he gets on his feet. But i GOTTA give him a time limit.

When i talked to him about it he agreed that we need own space because we get at each others necks. And the good thing is that JUST BECAUSE WE DONT LIVE TOGETHER DOESN'T MEAN WE AREN'T TOGETHER!

This is something that i have to deal with because i had the RETARDED idea that if we dont live together then we are not together. AND that is not the case! :] YAY!

Okay well its 3 in the morning and i am sitting at Denny's blogging... i think that i am going to go home and sleep some.

JACOB LEE JESSIE

Everyday I fall more and more in love with this guy. But I dear NOT tell him that. He seems like the type of guy that will run far, far, FAR away from someone who tells him that. But he is the type of guy that secretly really loves that. He is the type of guy that will NOT OPEN UP for fear of being venerable. He would rather bottle EVERYTHING up and have it eat away at him just so that he would not have to argue. But let me tell you if you shake the bottle too much it will pop. This is the guy that after almost nine months of being together I have finally dipped my toe into the water that is Jake. He has finally started to open up to me. And let me tell you that was one of the best night that we have ever had in my mind. It was 2:30 in the morning and I wanted him to come to bed with me but we all know Jake, I finally just gave up and went to sleep. At 4:30 he came to bed and woke me up, but instead of going back to sleep we stayed up until I had to get up and go to work at 7:45 talking. I was so happy that he was opening up to me that I didn't even care that I was going to die with out any sleep, I just didn't was to pass up the chance of getting to know him even better. He is such a great person under all of that shell. The guy, that after having shity after shity relationships finally can really make me smile. Not just a fake smile but also something that warms me up on the inside. Granted that we do fight, who doesn't that's what makes relationships work. But after ALL OF THE FIGHTING I still know that he does really love me with all his heart. I will never for get the day that I sat in bed crying because of the WORST fight that we had ever had and he came in the room, sat down next to me and told me, "Ashley its gotten to the point that no matter what happens I will love you." I have to say that, that was the most AMAZING thing anyone has ever said to me. Just thinking about that day and EVERYTHING that happened and EVERYTHING that we went through as a couple just kills me still.

That moment I thought that it was done, over, never again. But once again here we are. We got through it ALL. I think the whole time we kind of knew that we would. But we didn't know if either one of us was still willing to try. He told me one time that if we could make it through this (when he didn't have a job and we fought all the time) then we could make it through anything. I TRULY think that he was right. When we had our blow up, that was where it couldn’t have gotten ANY worse. That was our lowest of lows. But yet we made it through. I realized where I had gone wrong. I was being like his mother and not his girlfriend. And I am pretty sure that he didn’t sign up for another mother. [hahah that kind of rhymes] So know that I am being his GIRLFRIEND not his mother things are just getting better and better. I am starting to be truly happy and content with my life. :] its a GREAT FEELING.

9 Months

Well on September 16, Jake and I will have been together for 9 months. Geez, how the time just flies by. I fell like just the other day we were sitting in his car until 5 in the morning just talking, and now 9 months is just around the corner. To me it’s really had to believe. I was sitting at paradise bakery re-evaluating our relationship and just everything that we have been through.

In the last 4 months have really been the hardest.

We have moved out and into our own place and lets talk about the stress. lol Between Jake and I fighting about everything just because I have been overreacting. I was on this little bitch shot called depo and I would make a big deal about EVERYTHING, like the little thing that I normally wouldn't make a big deal about I was FREAKING out and starting a fight about. It was ridiculous. I would get SO mad because I work all day from 8:30 to 6:30 and then I would come home to a house that's all messy and Jake would be there sitting in the front room play Gears or Call of Duty and that's where he had been ALL day and in my mind you would think, " okay my girlfriend worked ALL day maybe I do the dished so that she wont be so stressed when she gets home..." but his mind doesn't work that way.

This is how Jakes day goes:
1. He sleeps until about 1 in the afternoon but it really depends upon how late he stays up the night before. For example he came home the other night from Shannon’s apartment after hanging out with Nick at 4:30ish after telling me that he wouldn’t be out late. That next day he slept until 3:30ish because Katelyn came home from work and he was still sleeping.

2. He will wake up and throw all the sheets all over the bed and not even think to make it. Come straight out to the kitchen and get something to eat. Lets say it is cereal and if that is the case then after about three bowls he will leave his bowl full of milk out on the table.

3. While he is eating breakfast he will be playing either Call of Duty 4 or Gears of War. Witch will continue all through out the day. Of course there are those rare days that he will either hang out with Nick, Mason, or Mike his dad. But NO matter what he will end up back over here at home playing the Xbox.

By the time that I get home he is hungry. And if he is home when I get home then he is on the Xbox Live playing, so I will walk by him and go to the bedroom to change out of my work clothes and as I walk by he will reach out to either touch me or try to smack my ass. That is his way of saying hello, if I get lucky he will ask me how my day was. BUT… if he is in a good mood and not the wrapped up in his games he might get up and come say hello to me.

I got REALLY lucky on Sunday, I was tired from a VERY long day at work and the night before was when he came home at 4:30 so I didn’t see him and he got off the Xbox and came in the bedroom to find me laying in bed trying to nap. Which he decided to join me for a nap even though he couldn’t sleep. (He just laid there for a little over an hour with me while I slept and snuggled) AMAZING!

I will pretty much do nothing after that maybe watch some T.V. or mess around on my computer after that because he is playing STILL. When I start to get hungry I will see if he wants anything to eat and from there is where I decide if I am going to make something or if I am just going to go out and get something.

I know that if I make something then I will have to clean up everything because there is NO WAY IN HELL he will clean up after I cook. So if I cook then the dishes will sit there until I have a chance to clean up.

4. I will cook food because I REALLY don’t want to spend money so he won’t even eat with us. I will ask if he wants me to make him a plate and he ALWAYS says yes so I will and I give it to him and he sets it down right in front of him. He won’t eat it he will let it seat there for about 15 minutes THEN he will eat it. Not only do I have to make him a plate but I ALSO have to clean up after him because he is SO wrapped up in his video games.

5. So finally come around 12ish I am ready for bed and he is still playing. I ask him if he is going to come to bed with me and if I am lucky he will which some times he does but most of the time he will come to bed a hour or so later. Unless Mason is here then he won’t come to be until it is bright outside pretty much.

And who knows what Mason and him do when I am sleeping, I know some of the things but sure as hell don’t want to know all of them.

After the fighting and fighting Jake finally EXPLODED and ripped the bedroom door off its hinges I just wouldn’t sop so we went on a break. And while we were on that lovely little break that he wanted to go on he stayed the WHOLE THREE WEEKS AT SOME GIRLS HOUSE!!!!!!! Even thought I knew her it still wasn’t right.

Okay, so I am not to sure how this whole “re-evaluating” this was going after everything I was thinking about…. I think that I am just gong to stop and put the whole thing back to the back of my mind again for a rainy day. I hate to realize that everything everyone has been telling me is right.

Katelyn, Kissing and Sex

So this is just for Katelyn..

We had a lovely little convo the other day about how kissing makes such a difference in having sex.. She was informing that every time she has sex with Tom* she feels like he is just not there. That he is in it just for him and doesnt really care about her. That every time they have sex there is NO foreplay, NO friskiness, NO thinking of her, and the BIGGEST one... NO KISSING! We were talking about how kissing can either make sex or break sex. That if there is kissing then everyone has to be into it. She was jealous because i was talking about jake and i and how when we have sex he is there. He thinks of me first, well most of the time. lol She wishes Tom was like that. But when she had sex with Joe* she said that he was there, that he had been better then Tom in putting effort. She was happy because it had been a while since she had actually had someone who was there like that. But just today she was telling me how now looking back at it he was kinda stiff and not in the good way. We were laughing about it and joking about how even if they are there they still need to know what they are doing. lol

Man katelyn and i ALWAYS have a good time. lol



*Names have been changed for safety/NO DRAMA

Gears of War

well i am sitting here on the couch while Jake and Mason are playing Gears of War.... Thinking about how it has been SO FUCKING long since i have posted anything... A LOT OF stuff has gone down in the past month and a half. Here i will shorten it for you, Jake and I went on a break, This guy named Chris won't leave me alone and well a lot more that i really cant think of right now... But i am suppose to be doing homework but that's not happening. Especially with Jake and Mason going back and forth talking to each other in southern about "niggas." its actually quite entraining.


I will come back tomorrow and post some more.

ugh.

Well... Saturday is the first time we have to pay rent. And I am paying all but $85 of Jacobs rent. And my check wasnt as good as I thought it would be...ugh this really sucks. I just wish I had more money

@-| just for jacob

cont....

so to finish off where I left...

Jacob and I went to the middle of BFE and kinda got lost on the way there. We were on our way to go get Jessie's stuff. I swear it was in the middle of NO WHERE. We drove about 45mins all the way to Charlie's house and when we got there I ("puked blood on a nun then killed a clown named claud" -jake) saw everything that we had to fit in to the car and I thought that it wouldn't fit but some how Jacob and Charlie worked their magic.

On the way home Jessie just had to get Taco Bell and so I thought that we would too. We finally go home and started to un-pack Jessie's stuff. Jess brought with her, her two guinea pigs. And I am very sad to say that we have had our very first DEATH in that apartment.. One of her little babies died. It was very sad but thank god we have a boy in the house because he took care of it. I really love living with Jacob. But it does have it's up's and down's. But like Jessie told me no matter what guy you live with they are all slobs until the grow up because that comes along with maturity.

But we have pretty much everything in the house except that dinning room table and chairs, now all we have to do is un-pack and clean EVERYTHING!!

YUCK, being grown up sucks!!!

UGH.

Well we moved Jessie in yesterday and I'm SO excited to have her here. I cant wait, but she has a creeper boyfriend and I worry that he is going to follow her to our casa.... but anyways... lol

Jacob and I went to get my dads truck and he was at work so we ran in to Ruthe and once again she was a TOTAL bitch. ugh She was complaining about when I would get the rest of my stuff out of that house and I didn't want to hear it so Jacob and I just left. Then off we went on this ADVENTURE.



to be cont....

yay!

Bye-bye Livejournal. Hello Stress

So i guess I'm going to follow the trend... I have got rid of my livejournal and I'm moving on up. yay for me! hahaha

Well this week had been SO stressful. Jacob and I officially moved into the apartment. Yep we have our own place. MAN let me tell you how bad it is.

I am FREAKING out. Nothing has a place and the place is a mess, EVERYTHING is everywhere. I just wish that there where no boxes and that everything was already un-packed. Ugh. I am stressing up a storm and I have no room to breath. I am going a mile a minute and i just can't stop. And as much as I try I just can't. AND JACOB! well he was VERY helpful with moving in but unpacking not so much.

Like last night, his friend Mason (I guess the guy that is suppose to be moving in with us but Jacob and I have already agreed to try and fill the room with someone else before he can move in...) just decided to show up out of nowhere. Mike and I were sitting and talking outside of Karla's house and I'm all, "what the hell is Mason doing here?!" So I call Jacob because he is inside playing GEARS OF WAR and I asked him if the reason he wasn't going to come help me un-pack some boxes was because he was going to hang out with Mason... He said no and that Mason wasn't even coming over and I told him that he was here now. Blah Blah Blah they talk and drive Mason's ghetto old school car... then we go back to the house because they said that they would help un-pack. And what happens when we get there... NOTHING! They just sit around watching TV as I fucking wash dishes and un-pack the kitchen!

Ugh I was SO pissed. And I had to go to work at 5:30 this morning and I wanted to go to bed early but by the time I crawled into be it was 1:30. And because I cooked pasta I asked if at least they could clean up for me and I wonder if i go home it will be clean...

And another reason I kinda don't want Mason to move in with us is because he takes Jacob and they go out and cause trouble at the fucking odd hours of the morning. Like at 5:15 when I was getting ready for work Jacob still wasn't home. He was out screwing around with Mason. So I call him and ask him where he is and he bangs on the door and is all, "can you guess..." I know some of the things that they go out and do and I also know some of the things that they are planning to do... I know I shouldn't but I just worry that Mason is going to get Jacob into trouble and I TRUELY don't want that....

But I am at work so i will finish later...